We courageous parents are leading our families in a time we have never experienced! The whole idea is overwhelming, stressful and anxiety producing! I would like to say this is a blog post about tips to survive this pandemic time, but it is not!
While I know we are all searching for the light at the end of tunnel, I would like to share some thoughts on the sense of loss, joy and the unknown.
The loss is big for most of us!! Our day to day ordinary lives are gone! As, David Kessler author and researcher of grief said on Brene Brown’s podcast: “This is a collective loss of the world we all lived in before the pandemic.”
My loss is real and important! I know people have bigger losses than mine and yes much of this may feel a little “first world problemish” - but it does not mean I do not feel the loss! (Thank you for this insight – Brene Brown and David Kessler.)
My loss List:
· Getting groceries and TP with ease – gone!
· New business opportunities were in the works – on hold and may be gone!!!
· Major business training for new coaching group- postponed!
· My kids are not at school!
· My boys have missed their favorite sport season – lacrosse! (I have missed watching them.)
· My daughter is missing 4 hours of dance per week- and major recital prep time!
· My 16 year old will not be able to take his test for his license on time.
· Promotion ceremonies for my 8th and 5th grader at risk and all the “special” little things about being in a school for the last year.
· Birthday Celebrations for my kids canceled, with hopes to reschedule.
· My husband’s favorite hobby events– canceled!!
· Big summer trip – cancelled!
· No in person social engagements– sure we have zoomed – not the same.
· Knowing while my kids seem fine, they have their own inner struggle with it all!!!!!
Yet with the loss comes the joy! Time may be the thing that sticks out to me the most! No school, no sports, no socializing leaves my family with lots of time each evening! Which by the way - this lots of time thing is good yet kind of bad too (we have our moments)!!! You parents out there know what I mean!
My Joy List:
· Well there is something relaxing about not having to be at a lax game, lax practice and dance pick up all at the same time!
· Yes, lots of family dinners are great! (Not family board games- that’s another story!)
· Lots of time to catch up on shows/movies.
· I cleaned out and reorganized my kitchen cabinets and linen closets – yahoo!
· Sleeping a little later is nice!!!!
· I love my home, because it is a great place to be stuck in!
· Talked with my college girls 3 times now and another time coming up!
· My business continues to grow and develop, and my clients are amazing and courageous parents!
· Some new opportunities are coming my way!
· I can practice some goal work with my family!! (My participants are generally joyful about this.)
· My family is healthy.
· I am grateful for all that we have each day more than ever!
· I am keeping my faith and putting my trust in God!! (Even though this can be hard.)
The unknown seems to be very prevalent and may be the hardest thing for me! I love a good plan and I excel with a calendar and clearly defined tasks! There is definitely a common feeling of concern for the unknown among the parents I coach and the parents in PTA meetings.
My Unknown List:
· No permanent way to plan.
· Events that are still in the unsure zone.
· Will I get the virus?
· Will my family get the virus?
· What if someone in my extended family gets it?
· I’m not sure what else – it’s just the simple unknown.
We courageous parents can do this! The reality is we will have to adjust and live our lives the best we can. We will have to work at this new normal. I have faith this current state will improve and our lives will get back to some normalcy at some point!
For now, I want to acknowledge I will feel some loss, some joy and some unknown – and this is okay!! Coming to terms with the struggles actually helps me move forward; maybe many of you can identify with this thinking.
May all of you parents out there navigate this time the way that works best for you and your family!! We (still) got this!!!
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