What is the extraordinary ordinary life? For me it’s the joy in the normal day to day life and the awareness that basic days are just as good as big days – yet for different reasons!! It’s the ability as a mother to teach my children to respect and appreciate our ordinary days. It’s the strength to remind my kids that they live some pretty extraordinary days too – not just the special experiences and trips – but the daily extraordinary that many teens/tweens like mine don’t experience. For example, 2 refrigerators full of food, a pantry of snacks, food delivered to our front door!!!!!! This is nice stuff – seems extraordinary to me!!!!
Personally, I love the idea of extraordinary ordinary – it is where I know my family learns and grows the most – I see the love when my kids interact on a day to day level. I see the joy in our ordinary moments: around the dinner table, watching a movie or yes even in having a tough conversation!
Yes, I love the extraordinary moments too: an awesome score on a test, or when my child is asked to participate in something special, maybe a promotion or graduation ceremony, a great game or performance- or are these ordinary moments? The hard work and dedication that goes into some of the milestones my kids experience is amazing! Heck, the hard work that goes into my 46 year old milestones is amazing too!
What is extraordinary for families? Is it a family vacation to a cool spot or a historically significant location? Is it a career that makes millions? Is it a scholarship? Is it driving a cool car? Is it our kids’ accomplishments? The extraordinary may be unique to each of us! Yet, at the same time we live in this culture of competitive craze that focuses on idolizing the extreme. I raise my 2 teens and a tween in this culture! Yikes! I better keep myself grounded!!! I get lost in the extraordinary ideals all the time!
When I get a little crazy, I can always count on Dr. Shafali to get me thinking! Here is little piece from, The Conscious Parent, by Dr. Shefali Tsabary:
“Although it’s natural to want our children to excel, this is preferably never at the expense of failing to revel in their ordinariness. When we deny our children’s ordinariness, we teach them to be enthralled only by exaggerations of life. They come to believe that only the grand and the fabulous are to be noticed and applauded, and hence constantly pursue “bigger “and “better.”
In contrast, when our children learn to value the ordinary, they learn to inhabit life itself. They appreciate their body, their mind, the pleasure of sharing a smile, and the privilege of relating to others. It all starts with what we as parents teach them to appreciate.”
~Dr. Shafali Tsabary
What do we strive for today? What is the American dream? Is it wealth? To be a pro athlete? Is it the right college? The right grades? The right team? Is it to be accepted for who you are? Is it to know you are enough each day? Is it to have positive relationships? Is it the extraordinary ordinary life?
I’m not sure this topic is very appealing to we parents! I think we want our kids to achieve all they can, get in the right college and live the dream!! What is the dream? When I think of my kids, don’t I want extraordinary? Who wants their kids to settle for ordinary? Do we want our kids to only strive for extraordinary? I know I don’t want my kids to compromise the joy in the ordinary for some extraordinary life chase, that may get in the way of living their best life!! I think Brene Brown has really hit on the right message with this quote:
“Joy comes to us in moments – ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.”
~Dr. Brene Brown
I think we all have extraordinary parts of our lives! It looks different for each of us! Most of us live ordinary lives, no matter what part is on the more extraordinary side! My hope for all the families out there raising kids is we can instill the joy in the ordinary!!